5 lessons I’ve re-learnt abroad

Almost everyone needs it, asks for it, gives it, but hardly anyone ever takes it. What is it?

There Are Even Wise Words About Pasta

Those try-to-make-you-feel-good words of wisdom found printed on mugs, sewn onto cushions and sprawled across Facebook timeline photos (mine included); encouragement and guidance passed on by mum/dad/grandparent/teacher/friend/stranger to which you often find yourself absent-mindedly nodding along without taking it in. The endless clichés that many complain about and still find themselves repeating at some point or another. In short: life advice.

It’s the 2-month mark of my Year Abroad (okay, the tiniest bit belated… ) and instead of studying at a foreign uni I decided to take the plunge and look for work. Some jobs are specially suited to YA students, such as translation work and marketing assistants, and these jobs are posted round to our email inboxes, some of us (me included) waiting round in hopes of receiving one that matches our interests. What I ended up doing, however, was applying for theatre jobs intended for native Germans as well as Soon-to-be-Germans, jobs that did not state “Englisch erwünscht,” which admittedly made getting a job offer such a great surprise for me.

It meant that I’d be working in a place where the fact you’re a uni student from a different country with a funny accent is a novelty for the first day only, and not very helpful afterwards. But the most refreshing thing for me? Not working in a place full of students, essay deadlines and imminent paper exams. Whilst I think uni has been a great experience so far, it’s no surprise that you find yourself living in a bubble, where the catastrophes of the day most likely involves a malfunctioning printer or Starbucks getting your order wrong (again). Escaping from the bubble has made me re-learn the most simple and obvious of life lessons multiple times over, so much so that a few may have to adorn my Facebook cover photo in the near future…

1) The main thing is that you are understood

Credit to http://fuckyeahforeignlanguagemajor.tumblr.com/

Let’s start off with a language student mantra. After years of “verb comma verb” constructions and enough of the Konjunktiv I and II to really mess up your grasp on first and third person verbs, you find that the quick and simple answers are always the best. Translation exams come along with sentences 5 lines long and verbs left, right and centre, but enter the real world and your little soliloquy creates just the same effect as a simple “Ja, natürlich!” Which is both relieving (as I am prone to forgetting what I was even talking about once I get to the end of the clause, let alone the verb that corresponds to the subject mentioned right at the beginning of the sentence) and a little frustrating, as hey, I would like to improve that. A comedian performed the other night and highlighted this perfectly:

(roughly translated) “The German language can be so expressive. Just take verbs of speech, for example. We have such a range of verbs to choose: erzählen, fragen, anflehen, anmerken, berichten, etc. And when you talk about conversations such long sentences can be created, like:

“Er hat mir die Geschichte erzählt aber ich habe ihn nicht verstanden und musste meine Freundin fragen…

“But what do people say nowadays?

“Er war so ‘puhh!’ Und ich so ‘hä?’ Und sie so ‘doch!'”

The youth speak of today 😉

But whatever I do decide to say (or if I decide to not say anything at all and instead rely on gestures), there’s the small reminder at the back of my mind that actually, I chose to study languages so that I can communicate with people. As long as I can do that, I can feel grand- and worry about the frills later.

 

2) There is such a thing as working too hard

Or forks. Either way.

And it’s not the same as keeping busy. Which is what everyone tells me, but I still admit to being a self-confessed workaholic who is associate producing a show back at her uni whilst being in a different country. But it’s only out here that I’ve heard about Burnout- the state of stress that leads to mental and physical exhaustion and can affect your health and happiness. It isn’t “just for the office workers” or any particular job in general- anyone can experience it at any point of their lives. In the first few weeks of work where my Dienstplan was still a bit of a mystery to me (as long as I could see “Li” on a date next to a time, I knew I needed to be at the theatre then, and work until… whenever), my colleagues would sometimes say that I could leave before the show starts, as I wasn’t rota-ed in for doing it. At times I felt that I hadn’t worked enough that day to justify leaving early, and a couple of times I had voluntarily stayed and watched the show (and help with the get out afterwards), but I learnt the ways of the roster and now accept my Feierabend, thus going home at a sensible time. But it’s not only about health. Whilst I’m more used to people asking “Don’t you have a home to go to?!”, it does make you think when colleagues mention that they haven’t seen wives and children for days on end simply due to clashing work hours. Theatre can bring friends and family together, but those who run it behind the scenes and perform on stage may be missing out on quality time with their own loved ones due to the nature of the live entertainment business, something that I’ve only really half-appreciated. My teachers’ reminders of “all work and no play” are being listened to more and more: Loving your work is great. Being married to your work is best being left to Sherlock.

3) Make the most of the time you’ve got

Christmas trees in October

Or Carpe Diem. Or Live Every Day as if it Were Your Last. Or YOLO. Whichever form it takes, you hear it everywhere- but at least what’s being preached to us is undeniably true. My French teacher often told me that “time speeds up the older you become”, and already I’m sitting wondering what I’ve actually done in 2014 whilst the Christmas decorations are being rolled out in the Galeria Kaufhof, so God help me when I turn 30. I’m 2 months into my year abroad, meaning that this time next year I’ll be back for fourth year at uni and this adventure will just be a collection of memories and photos (with the additional hope of improved German…). So what’s better than packing your year of recently-rediscovered freedom with travelling and friends and doing what you love? My first (well, first after the initial introduction) blog covers this in more detail, so I shall leave it there with this one (as if you guys don’t know it, anyway).

4) But when you do nothing, that’s okay too.

So I may be cheating by giving the opposite of number 3 as number 4. But even after writing down what I’d like to do in Trier, Koblenz, Monchengladbach, Bergisch Gladbach, Essen, Berlin etc etc, I still haven’t gone to any of them yet. Partly because I’m going to other places. But also because I sometimes use my day off as… well, a day off from everything. I only have a limited time in Germany, but even so my body loves to remind me that I do like to sleep (a lot) and stay in bed reading, and that’s just as good as hopping onto the next train to Neverland and exploring the unknown. Better sometimes, considering that I LOVE books and haven’t been able to read for pleasure in such a long time- I’m currently re-reading The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, with Gone Girl next on my reading list. Could I do this back at home, rather than in Cologne? Technically, yes (if I made myself). But we all need a rest, as do our bank accounts, so there’s no point feeling bad.

5) Just say Yes 

Cue Snow Patrol (Okay, I did that on purpose, just so I could link in one of my favourite songs, but oh well). This one’s a tricky one, since it’s more “Just Say Yes Within Reason and With Boundaries of Common Sense”. But in short- be open to anything and experience will follow.